![]() ![]() He was no relation to Andrew Carnegie, the filthy rich steel tycoon, though he changed his name from Carnegey to trade on the association, and later booked Carnegie Hall as a speaking venue. Trading on rich namesakeĬarnegie grew up on a hog farm in Missouri ("on the edge of Jesse James country," he writes). And perhaps it's not flattery if you take on his main messages: be interested in other people, grant them importance, and practice the art of giving sincere appreciation. Carnegie is adamant he's against what he calls cheap flattery. So is How To Win Friends a handbook for flattery? The author says no. His top tips included: don't be friends with tyrants, don't look for buddies in politics, and whatever else you do, steer clear of flattery. His tract On Friendship offered the notion that life is nothing without friends. After them, Cicero wrote on friendship specifically. The Stoics offered advice on achieving eudaimonia, a state usually translated as human flourishing. The book did not invent self-help or cheat sheets for living. ![]() Simon Pegg in the film How To Lose Friends and Alienate People, a spoof inspired by the successful book How To Win Friends And Influence People. It has spawned copycats and spoofs, like the amusingly named memoir-turned-film, How To Lose Friends And Alienate People. It's a top-selling self-help title, with 30 million sales and counting. It must have spoken to a need, and it's still speaking to a need. How To Win Friends And Influence People was first published in the '30s, the work of a one-time travelling salesman named Dale Carnegie. The title makes it sound like a flatterer's handbook.
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